


All But Broken

by adaaris



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: Cousland Backstory, Gen, Grey Wardens, Human Noble Origin, Past Infidelity, Rare Pairings, Timeline What Timeline
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-25
Updated: 2018-07-25
Packaged: 2019-06-15 23:07:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,357
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15423657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/adaaris/pseuds/adaaris
Summary: "You once told me that your life was about sacrifice, that you did your duty so that another man, somewhere else, could be a husband and father without fear. I know it would be unfair of me to ask you to compromise your duty, to stop your vigil, so I will not ask. But I wish you did not have to sacrifice knowing your child. Come meet her, at least once, under any auspice you wish. Bryce has already agreed, so long as it is discreet. "





	All But Broken

**Author's Note:**

> Soooo. This is my first published story in a VERY long time, but I liked it, so wanted to go ahead and try my luck. I'm kind of jumping into the middle of it here, so forgive any timeline inaccuracies, errors, or things that don't make sense.

_Duncan-_

_In the time it has taken to find you, to send this letter, I can scarcely believe that our time together was real. It seems more a dream now, if not for the turns our lives have taken since. I suppose my purpose for writing this letter should be clear. I'm not looking to rekindle a torrid affair through letters, nor to continue an emotional affair. Although our feelings on that long voyage were true, Bryce has been more forgiving than I deserve. But you have a daughter-Asha, for the queen mother of Thedas, who's strength I can only hope she will emulate. She was born on Third of Drakonis, in 9:12 Dragon, roaring and as healthy as can be. My son, Fergus is overjoyed at the thought of a sibling to boss around, if a little disappointed that he didn't receive a brother instead. But our daughter is beautiful, as perfect as I could have imagined. She looks like you, I think, in the tilt of her chin, the shape of her nose. Of course there's her skin, caramel and bronzed not unlike your own. It's lucky that my father was nearly as dark, so there is no question of her legitimacy as of yet. But I digress, there is nothing that will make a mother fill her parchment faster than asking her to tell of her newborn."_

_-Teryna Eleanor Cousland_

____

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"I'll take the teryna and your daughter to Ostagar, to tell Fergus and the the king what happened. Then your daughter will join the Grey Wardens."

__

"So long as justice comes to Howe... I agree," Bryce struggles, unable to meet his eyes. The teryn has already paid a high price for Duncan's selfishness, and this time the cost is unbearably high. Eleanor looks at him with something akin to betrayal, and he feels his heart drop low in his chest. He knows his request is wrong, just as surely as he knows the approach of the Blight. She asked him to Highever to see their child, to meet her, not to take her with him to die as a warden. It would have been simpler if he could have recruited young Gilmore as he planned, saved the Couslands losing themselves to him again. Each time he crosses paths with Eleanor Cousland, he only leaves destruction in his wake.

__

"Truthfully, you were always my first choice," he lies smoothly, as if the idea subjecting his daughter to the life of a warden doesn't make his skin crawl.

__

"No!" she growls. "I refuse, I won't go! I'll stay here, take my vengeance on Howe!" Tears well in her green eyes and she looks impossibly young. He'd heard gossip around the castle that she had planned to ask him to join the Wardens, but this is not the way that anyone would have hoped for.

__

"I am sorry, but a Grey Warden's duty takes precedence—even over vengeance." He hates it: precedence over love, over a family. Over the woman scarcely more than a child before him, that he wishes he could have raised as his own.

__

"Howe thinks he'll use the chaos to advance himself," Eleanor adds quietly. "Make him wrong, Asha. Our family...we always do our duty first."

__

Her eyes become sad, and he recalls her saying something similar to him when they disembarked from the ship that summer. Duty before vengeance, before love. Duty before all.

__

"You must go now, pup, for your sake. And Ferelden's sake; help put an end the darkspawn." Bryce's shirt is almost completely soaked through with blood, and he's becoming paler.

__

"I won't leave you father," she says, tears finally falling down her cheeks. She will not go without Bryce, not come with him without invoking the Right of Conscription, but she must. He cannot leave Highever without a recruit, and this is the only way that he can save her, keep her with him.

__

"Then I'm afraid I must invoke the right of conscription. You are now bound to come with me. And we must leave quickly then, we haven't long." He hates himself for doing this, for the angry look his daughter flashes his way, her fate now tied to his in the most macabre way possible.

__

"Bryce, are you sure of this?" Eleanor strokes his cheek.

__

The teryn's voice has grown hoarse and quiet. "Our daughter will not die of Howe's treachery. She will live, and make her mark on the world."

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Eleanor pauses, then looks at her daughter with resolve. "Darling, go with Duncan." Her voice cracks at his name, all the things that she should have said to him, written to him, gone. "You have a better chance to escape without me."

__

Duncan feels his world stop, but he hasn't the time to dwell. "Eleanor," he whispers, like a prayer. If the Couslands hear the plea, can decipher the meaning in his tone, no one comments. "You-"

__

"Hush. I'll kill every bastard that comes through that door to buy you time. I won't abandon my husband."

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"Mother, I won't leave you, I can't let you sacrifice yourself," Asha sobs, articulate through her tears.

__

"My place is with your father," she smiles sadly, turning her gaze to Duncan. "We said to death and beyond."

__

Bryce's eyes are closed, his face deathly pale as she lays a kiss to his forehead, and moved his head to her lap. He takes a rasping breath.

__

"I'm so sorry it has come to this," Duncan breathes, standing now. He can hear the fighting getting closer. If they are to leave they must do it now.

__

"We did all we could." She must be able to hear the fighting as he can, she knows these are their final moments together. "It's up to my children now."

__

Asha seems rooted to the spot, unable to tear herself away from her mother and father. All the fight seems to have left her. Tears roll down her face freely, she shakes with silent sobs.

__

"You do us proud," Eleanor declares, tearing her gaze from the warden with a final sigh.

__

"They've broken through the gates. We must go now." Duncan hisses, his tone urgent. Asha still can't seem to move, so he gathers her into his arms and lifts her. This might be the only time he holds his daughter in his arms, but it is impossible to savor. She hangs like a ragdoll as they run through the passage, a last great sob leaving her as she hears her mother's final words.

__

"Goodbye darling."

__

Duncan can't look back, he knows there is no time. So he runs away from the only woman he's ever loved, more destruction in his wake. In peace, vigilance. In war, victory. And in death? Sacrifices have never required his death. He manages to choose them in life all on his own.

__

_Duncan-_

__

_Our daughter is a force of nature, and I so wish you could see it. Bryce worries she's too headstrong, out of control. That we've spoiled her too much, and there is certainly a kernel of truth to such in our indulgences, but she's not any of those things. She's the most collected, calculated person I've ever seen. I saw her knock Bryce's youngest squire, Ser Gilmore, to the ground during their training, planning each move in her head and executing them. She has perfect control, if only when she wills it. She'll make an excellent teyrna, if that's what she wants, though I don't think it is. She's already turned down marriage proposals that would cast her into that role, so a match will not likely be made for her anytime soon._

__

_Personally, I think Asha would go mad cooped up in Highever, or any castle. She's just like you, Duncan, craves an adventure and a higher purpose. I even see her twirling daggers in her free time, just like you once did. She's planned this great adventure for life, and everything seems to be just practice until she is sure of herself enough to start it. I suppose something big will have to happen for her to begin._

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_-Teryna Eleanor Cousland_

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End file.
